Marriage is betting someone half your shit
that you will stay together until one of you
kicks the bucket. And the odds are not in your favor.
Tolstoy may have said every unhappy family
is unhappy in its own way, but fuck Tolstoy.
What does he know, anyways.
Life is too short and sex is too fun
to be eating the purple skittles.
If you don’t love her, walk away.
Dump her. Sever ties. Hit it and quit it.
Call your lawyer. Fill the divorce papers.
Move to Zimbabwe and
change your name into Chamakomo.
Because there’s no such thing as a bad divorce.
Because divorce means the end of something shitty.
Because if you loved her, you should’ve stayed.
Because if you really loved her,
you would have remembered to lift the toilet seat.
But you didn’t.
So you call the next bet instead.